Harmonious Hearts 2017 Page 17

  “Sorry. Just checking. Do you need help?”

  “No.”

  “Okay.” Dawn watched as any joy drained out of Wex’s face like a deflating balloon. “I’ll go? Sorry.”

  Dawn sighed, closing xir eyes for a moment. “Your name is Wex, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry I snapped at you, Wex. I have a thing about people touching me, and I’m having a bad day. You couldn’t have known that.”

  Wex shifted, stepping into the bathroom a little more. Dawn could see Gina behind her. “Well, no,” Wex began. “But I get it. I don’t like people touching me very much either. Like, sometimes it’s awesome, but other times I’m just, like, no.” A smile came back on her face as she talked. It didn’t seem like it took much to cheer Wex up.

  “Yeah? I’m just, like, none. No touching at all.”

  Wex grinned. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She looked back at Gina, then again at Dawn. “You wanna hang out with us?”

  Dawn shifted, suddenly feeling a bit out of xir depth. There was a good chance this was a trick of some sort, but if it wasn’t, xe didn’t want to waste the chance to make some friends. And Wex didn’t exactly seem like the type to pull the wool over someone’s eyes. Neither did Gina, for that matter. In a different way, but she seemed nice.

  “Yeah,” Dawn said tentatively. “Hanging out sounds good. What are you going to do?”

  “Probably just grab the pizza and soda the school’s giving out and chill for a while. Maybe watch a movie or Netflix or something after. ’S that sound good to you?”

  It had been an accident. The falling and the touching. Dawn’s hair was different but Armageddon hadn’t occurred in response, like it usually did. And now a really nice girl and her friend were offering to hang out with xir. Xe smiled despite xirself.

  “Yeah. That sounds good.”

  Hanging out didn’t end with pizza. It continued to movies on Wex’s laptop in Gina’s dorm, and only sort-of-joking offers to house Dawn in Wex’s dorm if xe’d be more comfortable that way. Dawn’s dorm was in Fischer’s Hall, a male-only dorm, and while there hadn’t been any trouble so far, Dawn had heard enough stories to be wary. Wex had picked up on that wariness and extended the offer.

  Ultimately Dawn declined. No need to get Wex in trouble while xe navigated the world of being genderqueer in college.

  There ended up being nights, a lot of nights, where Dawn would sleep in Wex or Gina’s rooms. Xe preferred Wex’s, liked the pile of stuffed penguins on her bed. And while Wex’s room was messier, Gina’s girlfriend usually spent the night.

  Wex and Gina were like night and day to Dawn. Wex was excitable and talkative whereas Gina tended to keep to herself. Wex liked soft things and reading about flightless birds, Gina liked video games and soccer. When Dawn finally asked how they’d managed to become friends, Wex slyly told Dawn about how they’d bonded over being gay and autistic in a high school that didn’t leave much room for either.

  “When you find someone else who’s like you and who’s, like, somewhat decent, you tend to get hooked,” Wex laughed as she explained.

  “I think I’m figuring that out.”

  The next week, Dawn met Micha, a trans boy who’d had similar problems as Dawn with housing and who shared an English class with xem. Dawn introduced him to Gina and Wex, and he introduced them to Mari, a math major of unspecified gender.

  The five got along well. They stayed up late in various dorms, distracted one another from homework, and acted as a support system to one another. The friend group formed quickly.

  Over the next few months, Wex’s special interest took a turn into prehistoric birds, and they went to a museum together. Dawn and Wex kept close the entire time, doing their own version of flirting. Micha invited them to Shabbat dinner, and his parents fawned over them all. Gina’s girlfriend dumped her, and the five of them ordered Chinese and shit-talked the ex over bad movies. Dawn told the group xir name and they used it, and not a one touched Dawn without xir permission.

  Summer traded places with autumn, which traded places with winter, and everything was calm. Then Dawn woke up with black eyes that shone remarkably like Gina’s. A week after the eyes, Dawn noticed a burn scar on xir forefinger that looked remarkably like the one Micha had got cooking for Passover. The next night xir hair was a burning orange, the exact same shade as Wex’s.

  Dawn felt sick. Not a single person had touched xem without there being some sort of barrier between them. So what had happened? The changes could hardly be attributed to touch at that rate. While trying to figure it out, xe donned sunglasses even indoors, much to the heckling of xir friends, and kept xir gloves on firmly at all times. By the time xe came up with a theory—that simply being around people could cause the changes, horrifyingly—xe wasn’t even particularly concerned with xir friends finding out.

  No. Winter break was coming up, and that meant going back to xir dad. Dawn had managed to slip out of going home on weekends or for fall break, but a series of passive-aggressive texts and actively aggressive phone calls had made it abundantly clear that xe wouldn’t be able to get out of going home for winter break.

  “That sucks,” Wex said when Dawn told her of xir woes. “He sounds so shitty! If you want, you could come back with me to my place. My parents are cool, and they love having people over.”

  “No,” Dawn said, shaking xir head. “It would cause so much… stuff.” Xe waved xir hand vaguely. “I’m not ready to deal with that.”

  Wex frowned. “Okay. But if you ever want to, I’m your girl.”

  “Thanks, Wex. You’re too sweet.”

  The day xir dad was supposed to come get xem Dawn had to go to xir dorm to get xir stuff. That was always fun. Xe went early in the morning, when those with early classes were already out and those who didn’t were still asleep. Most of xir stuff was in Wex’s room, but the stuff that xir dad “approved of” was still stuffed into the little closet the school had provided.

  Xe began to sift through the clothes, pulling out shirt after shirt. Xe sighed as xe pulled out a baggy red shirt and pair of pants. Was there really a point? Xir dad would be mad about something, no matter what xe did. Rock and a hard place and all of that. But, at the end of the day, minimizing the number of potential arguments was the safest way to go. Especially considering how xir dad might decide the changes were too much and Dawn shouldn’t go back to school.

  Dawn bit xir lip. That wasn’t a good thought—an all-too-possible scenario, though. Xe pulled out xir phone and texted Wex.

  Where are you? Dawn sent.

  Her reply was quick. In the caf w/ everyone. Where are U?

  Dorm.

  Gross. :( Yours?

  Yeah.

  Grosssss. :((((

  Yeah. Can you come here? I want to talk. Dawn sent the message and closed xir eyes, heart pounding. Moment of truth. Only a minute or two passed before Wex texted back, though they felt like eternity.

  Yeah! she sent. You okay?

  I’m fine. Just have things to talk about.

  Ok. :D I’ll be there soon.

  Oh crap. That meant it was official. What was xe doing? Screwing xirself over, that was what.

  But xe wasn’t doing anything wrong.

  Just asking xir friend about clothes, right?

  That was all. No need to worry.

  Maybe a little reason to worry, but xe was going back to xir dad’s. If the changes that had been made were big enough to convince him school wasn’t worth it, xe might not see xir friends again. And if xe couldn’t, then xe wanted them to know about the curse and remember xem however they did.

  Dawn paced around the dorm room, fighting back xir breakfast, hoping xir roommate, Josh, wouldn’t show up and make the whole thing worse. Josh wasn’t particularly awful, just not particularly fond of Dawn either.

  There was a knock at the door and Dawn started, turned on xir heel. Xe grabbed the knob and jerked it open quickly. Wex stood on just the other side, her phone
in hand and flipping a penny between her fingers, a nervous habit of hers.

  “Are you okay?” she asked the moment Dawn opened the door. She stepped forward as she asked, and Dawn stepped back. “What’s wrong?”

  Dawn inhaled sharply, twisting xir fingers. Xe’d discarded xir gloves, and it felt good to be able to pull on them properly.

  “I, uh. I’ve got something to tell you,” xe said in a rush. Wex smiled an encouraging smile.

  “You can tell me whatever you want, Dawn. I won’t judge. Should I sit?”

  “I don’t know. Um, maybe? It’s not big—I mean, it might be big, but it’s not that big…. You know?”

  Wex smiled. “Well, even if it’s huge, you can tell me.”

  “I know,” Dawn said, shoulders sagging a bit. “I know I can. It’s just, like, you know?”

  “Yeah. I know.”

  “Okay,” Dawn said, letting out a breath. “So, like? Magic?”

  It was just Wex. If anyone was going to understand, it would be Wex.

  “Magic?” Wex barely frowned, but it spoke a thousand words. “What about magic? Are you a witch?”

  “God. God, no,” Dawn said with a little laugh of relief. If that was what she was worried about, then xe might be fine. But then Wex’s face fell, and she looked down at her lap. “Wex?”

  “Well, what’s your thing, Dawn?” Wex asked quietly. Dawn frowned, suddenly having lost footing in the conversation.

  “Are you okay?”

  “What’s your thing?”

  Dawn paused, looking to find the words. Xe tended to drift when faced with a person’s quiet anger, and xe dug xir fingers into xir palms to bring xemself back. “I’m cursed.”

  Dawn had never said that before. Xir father had said it; an apologetic doctor had once said it. But Dawn had never said it. Xe wasn’t sure whether it was a good or a bad thing. Xe’d find out soon enough.

  “I don’t know what happened,” Dawn barreled on. Just push through the fog and finish the conversation and allow Wex to hate xem, tell xir friends, and have all of them hate xem as well. “I was little. A… a witch cursed me. For some reason. My dad won’t let me know why. Whenever people touch me—like, touch me skin-to-skin, I absorb a part of their look.”

  Dawn reached up and pulled off xir hat. Wex’s eyes widened. Dawn’s hair nearly matched hers, after all. “I… I’ve got a scar from Micha. And Gina’s eyes.” Away went the sunglasses. “Mari’s nose is starting to show. And I’ve had your hair since that first day at orientation.”

  Wex stayed silent for a while before bringing forth her own question. “So do you hate witches?”

  Surprise flitted across Dawn’s face. “Do I…? I mean, one cursed me. I don’t know.”

  Wex’s fingers found a particular scab on her hand and began picking at it. “Would you hate me if I was a witch?”

  “What?”

  “If I was a witch,” Wex insisted, ripping the scab off completely. She glanced down at it and grimaced. “Would you hate me?”

  “Are you?”

  Wex bit her lip, eyes getting watery. “Yeah,” she said, her voice cracking.

  “Shit.”

  Wex laughed. “I guess, yeah. Shit.” There was another silence. With Dawn standing and Wex sitting, balances felt off. So Dawn sat down next to her.

  Wex turned to look at Dawn. “Do you?”

  Dawn shook xir head, looking around. “No. I like you a lot.”

  Wex gave a weak laugh, sniffling. She reached up and wiped her eyes. “I like you so much.”

  A witch and a cursed person. That was an odd match. Dawn turned closer to Wex, knee knocking against hers. “I could never hate you.”

  “Me either.”

  Dawn leaned forward, hand sliding over Wex’s fingers. “So are we okay?”

  “We’re okay.”

  “Then can I ask you a question? Since we’re being open with each other?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’d really like to kiss you. May I?”

  There was something about freckles that made blushing intensely red. Wex freed her hand and rubbed at her cheek. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  Xe set xir fingers lightly on Wex’s chin and pulled her gently to face xem. Then Dawn pressed xir lips against Wex’s and kissed her. And kissed her. And kissed her. And Wex kissed xem back.

  Later they sat together, holding hands. Dawn could practically feel the freckles growing on xir face and the weight filling out xir frame.

  “You know, I sort of guessed. About you.”

  “Yeah?”

  “You just sort of give off that vibe. A lot of cursed people are really loner-like.”

  “You know a lot of cursed people?”

  “A couple. I broke theirs.”

  Dawn was on Wex before she could say anything more. Xe pulled her hand up and drew her close. “You broke them? Could you break mine?”

  Wex seemed thoughtful, resting her cheek against Dawn’s shoulder. “Yeah. I’ll need some time.” She winced. “I hate to say it, but do you think you could survive till after break?”

  Dawn’s heart sank a bit, but xe nodded fervently. “Yeah. Yeah, I can wait. So long as it gets broken. You can really break it?”

  Wex smiled. “Okay. But just, like, by the way, if you decide you don’t want it broken, I won’t break it. You’re always free to back out.”

  That took Dawn aback. “Why in the world wouldn’t I want it broken?”

  “You’re a shapeshifter,” Wex said gently, a small smile on her face. “Why would you?”

  “I’m an unwilling shapeshifter. You think I want to start looking like my girlfriend’s clone just because I cuddle her?”

  “I mean, I am pretty cute,” Wex said with a wink. “But you could manipulate it, you know? With some concentration, you could minimize how much you change. Or you could only take parts of people that you really like. Like, with their permission, of course.”

  Dawn lay back on the bed, considering. Wex lifted xir shirt a bit, tracing her fingers along Dawn’s stomach. “I’ll think about it,” xe said finally. “But I think I probably want to get it removed. I’m tired of changing.”

  “You’ll always change. Everyone does.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  Wex shrugged. “I guess.”

  Wex left after an hour or so to go back to her own home. When she left, Dawn got up and changed into the clothes xir father wanted xir to wear. Xe didn’t want to wear them. Xe was, at the moment, soaring high above the clouds. If xe wanted to keep that particular vibe going, xe would need to avoid pissing him off more.

  When the clothes were on, Dawn looked in the mirror. Freckles spotted all over xir face, and xir black eyes had changed to a softer shade of brown. There was, as well, a shade of pink lipstick resting on Dawn’s lips that hadn’t been there before. That change Dawn would gladly accept.

  Xe told xir friends about the magic an hour later, one at a time. Xe had to give them a moment to get used to xir clothing, but after that, the speech went smoothly. “I have a curse, but I hope that won’t affect things between us. You are one of my best friends.”

  First xe told Gina, whose eyes lit up. Her mom was a witch, Dawn found out. When Gina was little, a doctor had tried a curse on her in a bad attempt at a “cure” for her autism. Her mom had become a witch in six months specifically to get rid of the curse. Micha shrugged and said his aunt was a witch and that if Dawn needed xir curse broken, she could likely do it. Mari had no experience with magic, but she offered Dawn a hug and a laughing assurance that they were still friends. Each one offered a little part of themselves to keep Dawn from looking exactly like Wex, and Dawn took it.

  What Dawn learned that day was that nobody cared. Not a single person Dawn had told thus far actually cared that Dawn was cursed. Most of them had experience with magic and curses in the first place. It all went against what xir father had told xem. Xir father had been wrong. He’d been w
rong.

  That realization sent Dawn’s head spinning.

  Xir father was coming to get xem at four o’clock, and xe couldn’t help but feel bitter that xe had to leave xir friends immediately after finding out that they still liked Dawn. Xe still wanted to argue over books with Micha, go to the city’s community garden with Mari, watch bad movies with Gina. Xe still wanted to be around Wex. Xir initial thoughts of her had turned into something softer and loving. Xe was appalled to think of what xe had thought of her not three months ago. She was beautiful and amazing and sweet. Seeing her made Dawn’s stomach flutter like it was full of butterflies. Carefree and easygoing, she reminded Dawn of dandelion seeds floating in the wind.

  It wasn’t fair that Dawn had to leave her. Had to leave all of them. Especially to go back to xir dad’s. That part was particularly cruel. But life wasn’t fair sometimes. At least the bulk of it would get fixed in two weeks’ time.

  Xe sat in the lobby with xir friends, sipping coffee, when he arrived.

  “So what are we looking for?” Micha asked, squinting out the window. Snow had started to fall and was coming faster by the minute.

  “A truck,” Dawn said, shaking xir foot nervously. Xe was going to get an earful and then some for all the changes that’d been made. “Big black one like—there.”

  Dawn set xir jaw.

  Xe really wasn’t prepared to deal with xir father. But with the assurances of xir friends and the knowledge that they’d be waiting for xem when xe returned, xe was able to step out of the lobby and into the blowing cold. Xe ran across the parking lot and quickly shoved xir things into the back seat of the truck and then pulled xirself into the front seat.

  Dawn’s dad wasn’t a particularly big man. He just had a presence that seemed to fill every room he was in. He had light eyes and dark hair and a wiry beard that took up most of his face. Most people wouldn’t call him particularly intimidating, but Dawn lost the ability to breathe upon seeing him. Instead of tossing xirself out of the truck, though, xe steeled xirself and smiled.

  “Hi, Dad.”

  The truck was already in motion. “Hi.” A typical short, one-word response. His eyes fixed on xir hair. “What happened?”